Sue Knight's Provocative therapy
In my January 2011 basic practitioner course, Sue provoked me in many ways in order to help me find my voice. I wasn't allowing her to operate on me and I refused to get healed in this way.
You might find yourself in a typical situation where you don't want to allow the coach to work on certain areas. In the February 2011 course once again she provoked me and this time I allowed her and I did have some very profound learning as a result of it.
Moral: It is better to allow yourself to be "operated" on. Trust the surgeon. In this case, me.
You might find yourself in a typical situation where you don't want to allow the coach to work on certain areas. In the February 2011 course once again she provoked me and this time I allowed her and I did have some very profound learning as a result of it.
Moral: It is better to allow yourself to be "operated" on. Trust the surgeon. In this case, me.
The need for Integration
He was the perfect candidate to get self negotiation therapy. He said that his problem was one of a "lack of integration". He had parts that were not in harmony with each other. I had a session of giving him space and I wanted to genuinely understand his problem which was kind of abstract and vague initially.
He finally came down to a point when he said "I am 70% integrated".
The therapy worked, but he amazed me by making a statement:
"So do you say that people lie to themselves?" I didn't say that! (See Superficial Listening)
The point was he needs to give space to himself. So I concluded the dialogue by saying:
"It is ok to lie to yourself. It makes life interesting"
He finally came down to a point when he said "I am 70% integrated".
The therapy worked, but he amazed me by making a statement:
"So do you say that people lie to themselves?" I didn't say that! (See Superficial Listening)
The point was he needs to give space to himself. So I concluded the dialogue by saying:
"It is ok to lie to yourself. It makes life interesting"
The Win+Win Blind spot
I was once participating in an activity where in I had to co-operate with a partner to complete a game. My partner was focused on him winning the game and completely ignored me.
I asked him "What do you think is the reason I am with you, if you alone would win?"
He first did not get what I said, but when later it turned out that the objective of the activity was to thin Win+Win he turned and told me that he saw the point of my question.
Other members of the group thought I was venting my frustration when I asked that question. I wasn't. I was coaching this guy!
(See Assumptions)
I asked him "What do you think is the reason I am with you, if you alone would win?"
He first did not get what I said, but when later it turned out that the objective of the activity was to thin Win+Win he turned and told me that he saw the point of my question.
Other members of the group thought I was venting my frustration when I asked that question. I wasn't. I was coaching this guy!
(See Assumptions)
The Child within you
I was practicing self negotiation with a senior man who was explaining that he was a hard nut and lacked emotions.
"What is inside the nut?" I asked him. Gradually he started talking about how he loved children. Here was a useful information for me how I can help him negotiate with his emotions. I asked him "What about the child within yourself?"
We continued talking on several occasions and a few days later he finally got the clue.
"What is inside the nut?" I asked him. Gradually he started talking about how he loved children. Here was a useful information for me how I can help him negotiate with his emotions. I asked him "What about the child within yourself?"
We continued talking on several occasions and a few days later he finally got the clue.